if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
