Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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