I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
