He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
