How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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