what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
