weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
