i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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