ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
