I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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