big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
