What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
