and you said cock pushups were impossible
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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