hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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