Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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