Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
