There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
