I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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