I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
