Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
