so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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