my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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