go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
