No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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