I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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