What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
