I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
