can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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