ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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