Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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