I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
