I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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