Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Pooping to opera.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
