If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
do nipples grow back?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
