HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
