Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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