he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just tell him i said nine months
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
