Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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