So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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