I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
