If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
