Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
