Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
