I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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