yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This is my gift to your gina
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
