guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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