My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
