I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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