i think i have two assholes
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
