We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
