To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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